i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
