i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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