I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
