ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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