I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
