Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
