i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize