Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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