I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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