we made out on top of his cat.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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