Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
