i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
