yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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