I must be too annoying 4 u.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bring me that man meat
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
