So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
where are my eyebrows?
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