We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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