you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
