My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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