You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
