Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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