How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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