im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
