the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize