Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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