speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
