He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
