I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
