well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
