Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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