What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
