You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
