I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
