Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
