We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
