I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
