So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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