Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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