omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
