im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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