So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've blown a few things in my day
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
