now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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