Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
