i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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