i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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