Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
