RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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