Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
