..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
