Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
