Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
