i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
