She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize