shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
