her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
only if we run a train.
done.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
