If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
