Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
