what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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