I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My vagina is very pro this idea
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
