I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Randomize
