All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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