He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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