When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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