So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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