She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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